Cook bacon in a large pot over medium heat until crisp. Transfer to a plate; leave 1 tbsp drippings in the pot.
Melt butter in the pot. Sauté onion, carrots, and celery until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic for 30 seconds.
Pour in chicken broth. Whisk in ranch mix, dill, paprika, pepper, and salt. Bring to a gentle boil.
Add chicken breasts. Reduce heat and simmer until cooked through, 12–15 minutes.
Remove chicken to a board and shred with two forks.
Return soup to a low boil. Add egg noodles and cook until just tender, 6–7 minutes.
Lower heat to medium-low. Stir in cream cheese until fully melted and smooth.
Stir in shredded chicken, cheddar, and most of the bacon. Warm until cheese melts.
Taste and adjust seasoning. Ladle into bowls, top with green onions and remaining bacon. Add hot sauce if desired.