Cook the bacon in a skillet until crisp. Drain, crumble, and reserve 1 tablespoon drippings.
Brown the ground beef in the drippings with the onion. Stir in garlic; cook 1 minute. Drain excess fat.
Transfer beef mixture to the slow cooker. Add cream cheese, processed cheese, cheddar, tomatoes, milk, Worcestershire, mustard, ketchup, paprika, salt, and pepper.
Cover and cook on Low for 1.5 to 2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes, until smooth and melty.
Fold in half the bacon and the chopped pickles. Taste and adjust seasoning.
Top with remaining bacon and green onions. Switch to Warm and serve with chips, crackers, or veggies.